This is Gintama fanfic, right? Right?
by GeorgeDGreen
Summary: "Oi, guys. Sakata Gintoki speaking. Somebody made a fanfiction about me, kill me. He said there's going to be new chapter every week. How do they say that... it will be M rated, which means there'll be breasts. That's everything which interests you, right? Cheers!"
1. Chapter 1

**This is Gintama fanfic, right? Right?**

**Yo, so this is my first time writing Gintama fanfic. I've wanted to write something which is funny and cheerfull, so this is the result. There will be few characters from other anime/manga too. I look forward to writing this, it will be tons of fun. :D  
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><p>*Slam*<p>

...

*slam*

...

„Work, you freaking thing!"

*slam*

Anyway, I'm a producer of Gintama and today, my computer isn't working quite well. As you're waiting for it to start working, please enjoy yourself while watching our TV station commercial.

„Oi, producer! Oi! Our show is airing! What's going to happen to this anime?"

„Gin-chan, as you might have already noticed..."

„Stop it, Shinpachi! Can't you see it? This is the worst thing that could happen! If our show is not aired on time, our fans will be disappointed. Then we will start getting letters of complaint, and..."

„Gin-chan, listen to me!"

„Yes, listen, Gin-chan!"

What happens there? I can hear Gintoki getting hit! Guys, stop it! My computer is still not working! Guys!

„Gin-chan, this is not anime! This is fanfiction! Fanfiction! Anyway, why are you yelling out there, producer? This is not related to you!"

Oh snap! They will uncover my hidden identity! Quickly! I must somehow repair this! Stability of the universe is in question!

„What do you mean, fanfiction, Shinpachi? Oi, you're not serious, right?"

„Can't you see for yourself?"

„Gin-chan, why am I all letters?"

„Shinpachi. Only ones who write fanfiction are nikikimori otaku. What is going to happen to Gintama now? Oi!"

„Relax, Gin-san! Maybe it will be better!"

„Lkoo Gni-Sna! I'ev mxied pu eth lerttrse!"

„Stop it, Kagura! This is serious! Oi! Do you know what otaku do when they write fanfiction? They ship people!"

„Gni-sna, wtah do you mnea? Do tyeh summgle poeple?"

„Kagura-chan, what Gintoki means is that they write stories in which characters without any romantic interest in each other get together, usually involving explicit scenes!"

„Shin-chan! Help me! I don't want to get together with Gin!"

„Oi, Kagura-chan! Don't get crazy ideas!"

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><p>And with this, the first chapter of this brilliant, wonderful Gintama chapter is over! What is going to happen next? Will Kagura and Gintoki end up together? Will Shinpachi finally become a man? What other glorious ships sail in front of us?<p>

Let us see in the next chapter.

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><p>„Oi. Are you serious, oi? Stop this!"<p>

„Gin-san... we're doomed."

„I don't want to end up with Gin-chan!"

„That's what you get for not paying rent!"

Wait. I haven't planned putting Catherine here.

„GET OUT!"

Thanks, guys.

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><p>Anywayz, this is one really short chapter. Since it's only intro one, expect more action and comedy in the upcoming ones.<p>

P.S. I'm not a native english speaker, so if it sounds a bit forced or something bear with it.

P. P. S. I don't care.

_**Next chapter: When you want to visit the past you better build the time machine, but the books are good as well.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**When you want to visit the past you better build the time machine, but the books are good as well.**

_And with it, the broadcast of today's events is over. I wish all of you a nice and fruitful day, full of wonderful happenings! Reporting alive from Sayama Park, Eto Hikari!_

„Kotomi-chan, fetch me another beer!"

Guy who sat in the armchair of spacious apartment had twisted moustache, thin goatee, he smelled like cheap brew and had a dirty tank top with a pair of boxer shorts. Scent of cigarette filled the room, and even tho apartment might have looked good at some point, now it was a total mess.

„But, Nao-san, it's your third today! You might try to mitigate it!"

In her 27 year of life, Kotomi Ichinose decided to settle down. Spending her college aboard, she studied a lot about history, space and time, and how all of those things work. That is where she met Nao. Guy who was acquaintance and working partner of her parents was a child prodigy back then, and he was the one who introduced her to the line of job which they've had.

„What was that, shrew?! Talking back to me? Go and fetch me that beer before I kick your useless face in!"

„Alright, Nao-san. I apologize."

Kotomi quickly bowed her head down, running towards kitchen to get another beer from refrigirator, which was full of beer, reason why she was frequently hungry and had to eat elsewhere.

Nao was not always like this, tho. There was a time when he was kind, and caring, but after they've engaged and decided to go back to Hikarizaka, his demeanor suddenly changed. He shut himself in, drinking, smoking, not doing anything else while Kotomi desperately tried to hold their small family together. With the time tho, she was falling apart. She had to work two jobs, plus her regular scientifical research and with her needy husband, she had no time to rest.

„Really, woman should learn their place." He murmured as he grabbed the beer, popping it open to chug it down.

„I'm really, really sorry." Kotomi blushed.

„Nah, you're good. Now come, sit in my lap."

She also knew what that meant. By „sitting in lap" he meant doing something else in lap which may have involved sitting, but it was sitting on something else.

„Nao-san! My work is starting soon! I have to get ready!"

Kotomi tried to defend herself. Really, with herself being the only one who worked in this family, she had all the responsibility. Nao was intelligent, she knew, he should understand it! But, all of the traces of her hope vanished as vein popped out on his forehead, pulsating as his face became red.

„What was that, shrew, eh?!"

„Stop it, Nao-san! I have to work!"

„You exist to serve me! Everything else is unimportant! You're mine!"

„But somebody has to buy you a beer, yeah!"

He stood up in a drunken stupor, his breath smelling like alcohol and face already being flushed red.

„I will find a job by myself... I will find a life by myself... I don't need a shrew like you!" he yelled, hitting her in the face so hard that she fell down. Unvoluntarily, Kotomi felt tears streaming down her cheeks.

„Please stop, Nao-san! I'll be good, I promise! I'll do whatever you want!"

„It's too late!" he yelled back, kicking her in the stomach and she felt like she could throw up all of the food she ate that morning.

„But I love you, Nao-chan? Why are you doing this?" she sat up, brushing her tears off as he stumbled around the flat, trying to stand straight.

„Playing ignorant, eh?" he was at it again, grabbing her by colar, raising her up and she felt the collar of her beige woolen vest pressing on her neck, choking her.

„You took my life away! You took my pride as a man! I don't have anything else! It is your fault!"

„But you decided to come back here!"

„Talking back, again!"

He raised his hand up again...

*We're terribly sorry, but the text is interrupted due to the obscene scenes of domestic violence.*

Beaten and bruised, Kotomi hid in the room in her flat, crying her soul out. Really, Nao was a great man once, but what is left from his past self is nothing. She blamed herself for things that have happened, because everything started when two of them came back to Hikarizaka.

„If only I could have a time machine. I would go back to the past and change everything. I would never go back here, and Nao would remain as he once was."

„Where are you, Kotomi-chan? I'm sorry!"

She heard him walking around the flat, trying to find her. He was always like this. First he would be agressive, and as soon as he vented out he would be back to his old self. But she was not able to tolerate it anymore. She had enough.

She took her violin out, tuning it so she could play. It served her as a great stress relief, altough it probably stressed everybody else.

„This violin is my only love."

As soon as she said those words, she's seen the light appearing from the corner of her room. First it had a shape of the orb, but soon that orb took a shape of something humanoid, but she was only able to see the shadow. Pressing the fiddle bow on the strings, she pulled it and it started screeching so loud that everybody in the building woke up, simultaneously smashing on the radiators to sign that she needs to tune down.

Humanoid shadow stammered, obviously holding it's ears, yelling something which was barely audible.

„What's wrong?" Kotomi stopped, much to creature's joy.

„Finally, finally! Seriously, who taught you to play this? You suck!"

„Waaah! Are you a bully?!" Kotomi blushed, putting her violin down.

„Ehm. I'm not a bully. I'm a fairy!"

„Oh, a real fairy?!" Kotomi was shocked.

„Yeah, are you dum.. I mean, are you the one who made a wish?"

Only now she was able to actually see what's in front of her, and it made her cringe. It was indeed a fairy, if you would judge it only by wings and cute, pink dress. But everything else was nothing like a fairy, at all. He, yeah he, had a pair of muscular, unshaven man legs, with a beer belly hanging from his shirt which was too small for his size. His face obviously belonged to man, but had a make up all over it.

„What the hell?" Kotomi squirmed.

„I'm Okama Fairy! I appear only to the most honest ones! You are rude, girl!"

„But fairies should be female."

„I'm a female! My heart is that of a maiden!"

„I'm sorry, Okama-san. You've heard my wish?"

"My name is Cherie. And might you say your esteemed name before we continue?"

Little okama fairy bowed, waving his wand in the circular motion.

"My name is Kotomi. Ichinose Kotomi. Nice to meet you!"

"Likewise, little bubble. Cherie, which is myself, have overheard your wish and couldn't help but interfere. You want to go back to the past, to change that which already happened?"

"Yes! I would like that very much!"

"Alright."

As okama stood, raising his hand, he was left staying like that and didn't budged a single bit, even when she went closer, shaking him. Suddenly, his eyes popped open.

"_This was a demo version of Okama Fairy. Full version includes: real wish, many different clothing styles, over thousand different voices. It can be yours for only 100 yen."_

"What the hell?" Kotomi shook him, but no voice was coming from fairy which now stood frozen.

"At least give me a number!"

"_The number to dial is 123 456 789."_

Kotomi grabbed her mobile phone, typing the number and for the moment, everything was silent. And then, she heard the voice of a man, sounding strangely feminine.

"Good day! Kammako club here, what is your wish?"

"I wish to go back to the past!"

For the few moments there was silence, and then there was a long laugh. Kotomi was now somehow irritated. Somebody was obviously pranking her, and she did not understood why would anybody do this.

"I'm terribly sorry, my cherry, but you've dialed okama night club. We can't get you back in the past, but we can offer you one of our many wonderful performers."

Kotomi could not hold it inside anymore. Feeling hopeless, she dropped the telephone and started crying, screaming from the pain.

"My cherry! My cherry! What's wrong?" yelling was heard from the phone. Broken, Kotomi grabbed the phone, raising her up to her cheek which was all bloody and swollen up.

"I can't take it anymore! My spouse is a horrible, horrible person! He beats me every day, he does not care how I feel and I do everything in order to make our life better! I hate him! I hate him from the bottom of my heart!"

"Oh, my cherry, boys are like that. They are all brutes, without understanding how maiden's heart works."

"I've heard for your number from some fairy which can make any wish come true. But fairy is broken. Can you make my wish come true instead?"

For the few minutes, there was silence again, and after that there was scream.

"Oh no, no, no no no! How did this fairy looked like, my cherry?"

"He is fat, and has a pink dress."

As soon as "guy" on the other side finished the sentence, suddenly she heard a buzzing sound from the middle of her bedroom. Okama Fairy suddenly started moving with robotic motion, waving his wand like crazy.

"Kill it, kill it, please! Just destroy it, my cherry! It's too dangerous!"

"But how?!"

"SMASH IT WITH CHAIR! Do something!"

Kotomi felt a bit insecure whether should she do this or not, but the guy on the other side seemed terrified so she took a chair. But, as soon as she raised it up to hit the creature, it let a buzzing sound which was louder and its jaw popped open, sucking everything inside like a black hole.

"My cherry! My cherry! Are you alright?!"

But the mobile phone got sucked inside too, and she screamed, being unable to hold to anything. Literally everything in her room was being sucked inside the gaping hole which were it's mouth.

"Kotomi-chan! Kotomi-chan! What the fuck is that noise?!" Nao knocked on the locked door.

Seeing that she's either going to die or end up being shifted to another dimension, Kotomi decided to say everything which she wanted to say.

"Hahaha! You moron! You can't touch me from there anymore! That's what you get! I'm being sucked in a black hole here! And you are unable to stop me! I will never be forced to see your ugly face again! Oh yeah, and you stink! I hate you, Nao!"

"Kotomi... what the hell are you talking about?"

He heard a snapping noise, and suddenly everything became silent.

"Kotomi? Kotomi? KOTOMI!" he screamed, suddenly realizing everything which he has done until now.

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><p>With this, first chapter is ended. Tadaa! What an interesting one, isn't it? You ask yourself, why is Kotomi involved in Gintama fanfic? That's what I would like to know too.<p>

Yeah, there is another character from another anime. No, it's not a crossover story. You don't believe me? Keep reading.

_**Next chapter: Bubbleheads are people too**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Bubbleheads are people too**

„So, with that, first episode of new Gintama season is over. Who will appear in new episode? Who will it be? Will it be somebody from other anime? Some other anime character? No!

This is Gintama anime, Gin-tama! This is not ***nnad! So, starting from now, we're switching to regular Gintama!

Oi, Shinpachi, where's the opening theme?"

„Gin-san, this is fanfiction."

„Oii! I thought this was done for! New chapter wasn't out for three weeks! Somebody help, heeelp!"

Sorry, Gintoki.

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><p>Sun was shining above Edo that day, sunny as a day could be, with a bright blue sky without any clouds. It was a hot summer day, birds were laying dead because of the drought, and people were condemned to stay inside until the time when mighty Kami show mercy.<p>

Such was the fate of Yorozuya trio, who've holed themselves inside of their HQ, lounging as always, but this time not because they were lazy, but because nobody with the right mind would go out on a day hot as this one.

„Gin-chaan, I'm bored!" Kagura yelped, hanging from her closet bed with her head down.

„There's no helping it, Kagura! We should take hot days as this one as a chance to rest!" Gintoki picked his nose, with the jump magazine over his face.

„But Gin-san, you're always resting. Man, I wish we've had some jobs right now." Shinpachi sat on the sofa, looking down to the floor.

„Shinpachi! Man has three sacred duties! Work, eating and resting! If any of those is denied, he will face a wrath of the gods!"

„Gin-san, then you've already brought a wrath upon yourself."

With TV turned on, something got their attention. There, on the news, a famous reporter Ketsuno Ana stood in front of what was a huge ship, which obviously fell right atop of somebodies home.

„_Ketsuno Ana here, reporting alive! I'm standing in front of what obviously is a huge Amanto ship. Owner of the home is here. Sir, can you tell us what happened?"_

„_I've had a blast!"_

„_It seems our guest was having fun while watching his home burn."_

„_You got it wrong! It was a huge blast! It happened while I was sleeping. Around 4 pm, I've heard rumbling sound and I got outside to look. Soon, huge ship appeared and crushed atop of my house."_

„_Have you taken a look upon Amanto who were inside of that thing?"_

„_Uhm, yeah... It was a guy with a pale skin, bags under his eyes and a black kimono. He had a black umbrella with himself. As he saw me he just said:"I'm sorry!" and run away."_

„_Could it be that it was somebody of the Yato clan? We do not know. As soon as we learn something new, you all will hear about it. Ketsuno Ana, reporting alive from Kabuki district!"_

Kagura's face was frozen in shock. She turned around, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring in front of herself with disbelief.

„Kagura, was that your brother?" Shinpachi asked, shocked himself by sudden appearance of somebody else from Yato clan.

„No... he's not wearing black umbrella. Nor he's having bags under his eyes. Only guy who I know who looked similar was Hosen, and he's dead now."

„Oi, Kagura, how much of those Yato are out there? No offense, but except you, every Yato we encountered was dangerous!"

Gintoki sat up, with a worried look on his face.

„I do not know, Gin-chan. But if he's here to make trouble, I'll kick his ass!"

„No, absolutely no, Kagura-chan! We don't know how strong that guy is! What if he's having friends?!" Shinpachi yelled.

„Then I'm the only one who can stop him."

Thinking about getting up and leaving the room to find wherever the mysterious Yato was, Kagura took her umbrella just to be intercepted by loud banging on the door.

„Oi, louts! Open up!" It was Otose.

„Oii! I haven't paid for a last two months! I'm not here! I'm playing pachinko! Yes, that's right, tell her that, Shinpachi!"

„That won't do, Gin-san. We have to face her."

„This is my death." Gintoki was flimsy as Shinpachi pulled him to the door, opening up. There, in the light of the dazzling sun stood Otose, with a worried look on her face. She looked almost as she saw something which she shouldn't have.

„What's wrong, Otose-san?" Shinpachi asked.

„You're having a customer. He refuses to go up, and sent me to tell you that."

„Is he a moron? How is he going to discuss a job if he doesn't come up?" Kagura asked, with a disgusted look on her face.

„Oi, Amanto! Come up!"

Walking up the stairs, hidden under a large black umbrella, there was Yato which they saw on the news today.

„I'm sorry for intruding. I'm in need of a help."

He said, with the quiet and strong male voice.

„Oi! Otose, you can't give us another Yato! You know how they are! They eat too much!" Gintoki whispered on Otose's ear.

„I've heard you, Gin-chan!" Kagura yelled, kicking him in the groin, making him squeal in pain.

„I see. Another one of my clan. Nice to meet you, friend." Yato smiled, showing his smiling face under the big, black umbrella, giving Kagura a handshake.

„I'm not your friend, you moron." Kagura turned the handshake down.

„Oi! Kagura! Be polite!" Gintoki grabbed her by the collar.

„It's alright, Mr. Yorozuya. Yato clan members are slow to trust each other, even if they're family."

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><p>They've sat inside of the room, and he closed the umbrella, finally showing how he actually looked like. His skin was fair and soft, as in every member of Yato clan, with crimson red eyes and bags under them. He had a long, black hair with a long ponytail on the back, and black kimono along with a black sash. On the back of his kimono there was a picture of crimson red paper fan.<p>

„What is this? What is this? Is this **achi, from ***uto? Oi, Shinpachi! We're already having brother issues with Kagura!"

„I'm sorry. How did you know? My brother, actually..."

„No! No! No! No!" Gintoki grabbed him, carrying confused Yato to the door, slamming them down, breathing heavily as he closed them.

„Ah, this was just a bad dream, right, Kagura, Shinpachi?"

„Gin-san... you've just kicked our customer out."

„_I'm sorry, have I offended you?" _ voice was heard from outside.

„This was not a dream..." Gintoki looked depressed for a moment.

Shinpachi got to the door, opening them up, letting confused Amanto inside, again.

„We're terribly sorry, mister! We'll hear you out, I promise!" Shinpachi bowed deep down.

„There's no need to be sorry. I can understand why your people fear our clan. After all, not a long time ago there was a huge battle in Yoshiwara, right?"

„This is not the problem here! „

„Shuddup, Gin-chan!" Kagura slammed his head down.

Later, they've all sat around the table again. Gintoki put towels in his nose, which was bleeding as Kagura slammed him really hard. Mysterious Yato slowly drank the tea which Tama made, enjoying it greatly in silence, as everybody looked in him with a bit of mistrust and a curiosity.

„I haven't thought I'm going to meet another clan member." Kagura broke the silence, chewing on a piece of sukonbu.

„Likewise. You've fled from our planet, same as I, it seems."

„You don't know anything about me. I've had my own reasons."

„As everybody did. But it's rude from me not to tell my name to those who I seek help from. My name is Okojo."

„As I thought! I knew it! You're weasel!"

(To explain the gag – Itachi on japanese means weasel. Okojo is just a japanese word for stoat, which is actually a relative of weasel.)

„No, my name is Okojo. What's wrong with you, Mr. Yorozuya?"

„Aah, we're sorry! It's a hot day and he's got a sunstroke!" Shinpachi took a defensive stance.

„Anyway, Okojo-san. Why have you came to seek our help?" Gintoki asked him in a serious voice now.

„I'm searching for my brother. We belong to the family which proudly carries Yato bloodline, overcoming the ways of regular Yato to fight with honor and pride, living our lives on the battlefield to defend our customs and people. Of course, there are those families which would want to go back to the way things usually are, and they despise our efforts. Thinking they will disrupt our family, they've made my young brother do something horrible! He planted dirty magazines in my Father's bedroom. Of course, everybody learned about our affair. And esteemed Father lost his pride and standing. Ashamed of himself, my brother fled and now he's hiding somewhere on the Earth. I'm the one who's trying to get my brother back, while simultaneously trying to save pride of my family. Will you help me find him?"

„This is awfully familiar. But I can't stand by and listen to somebody who talks about defending his honor and those who he cares about without doing anything. We will help you." Gintoki gave him a handshake.

„Oh, I'm glad! Thank you, Mr. Yorozuya!" he smiled with his warm smile.

„My name is Gintoki, by the way."

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><p><em>Yorozuya agreed to help mysterious Yato named Okojo. <em>

_First stop - the beach._

**_Next chapter: If you put insufficient amount of sunscreen your skin will burn, but it may burn even if you put enough, so it's best not to go out out between 10 am and 4 pm._**


	4. Chapter 4

**If you put insufficient amount of sunscreen your skin will burn, but it may burn even if you put enough, so it's best not to go out between 10 and 4 pm**

Standing in front of Otose Snackbar, Yorozuya trio and Sadaharu, along with Okojo, stood under the porch. Kagura carried a backpack full of things, same as Shinpachi.

„I still don't get it, Okojo-san, why beach? Yato hate sunshine."

Shinpachi was heaving already. Outside the temperature was unbearable.

„Because he will hide in the most unlikely place. I just know that."

„He couldn't have picked warmer day." Gintoki said, leaning on the wall, looking down the street.

„Sadaharu, are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Sadaharu?" Kagura asked Sadaharu, who looked depressed, with his huge head between the paws.

„One more reason not to go! Sadaharu will get a heatstroke!" Gintoki tried to weasel out, but Shinpachi grabbed him.

„Gin-san, we've decided to help him. We should do what our client want us to."

Gintoki and Shinpachi in the end sat on the scooter, and Gintoki turned the machine on, with the rumbling sound. Kagura sat on the Sadaharu's back, after she gave him a whole gallon of water.

„Sorry, but is he going to bite?" Okojo asked, getting closer to Sadaharu who kept looking at him with a disapproval in his eyes.

„Sadaharu eats people. Is that right, Sadaharu?" Kagura asked, petting the beast on the head.

„Wof!"

„Kagura-san! How is he going to ride that thing now?! You've scared him dead!" Shinpachi yelled, looking at Okojo who took a step back after Sadaharu started growling.

„Oi, four-eyes! I haven't agreed on that guy riding with me!" Kagura's face got angry.

„This is getting too complicated. Kagura, we have to get there. Unless you want our customer to walk?"

„Customer this, customer that. Ugh. Come, you damn weasel. Sadaharu will not bite you." Kagura pouted her lips.

„Thank you, Shinpachi-sama." Okojo bowed, and then he sat on the rear Sadaharu's end. Sadaharu heaved and then growled, but started moving forward.

„Don't get too loose, you bastard." Kagura said, leaning forward.

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><p>Moving through Edo, they've realized that whole streets were empty. Air was shimmering from all of the heat, emanating from ground. Kagura and Okojo hid under their big umbrellas, but even below them it was too hot to bear.<p>

„Water..." Kagura dropped her head on the Sadaharu's big one.

Okojo just stayed calm, trying to act like nothing was wrong, but clearly there was suffering on his face.

In the end, they've reached the large stone bridge which went from the town, to the beach. In the distance there were a lot of people, playing in the sea or laying on the beach. Stalls which looked like brown mushrooms growing from the sand were obviously selling bottled water – lines to them were incredibly long.

„We're finally here. Shinpachi, it's time to make you a man!" Gintoki yelled, turning to look at Shinpachi.

„Gin-san! It's not the reason why we're here!"

„Screw it, it's summer! A lot of women in tight bikinis! Every man's dream!"

„Gin-san, now you sound like a perverted old man. Can you stop?"

„We're here, you damned weasel. Now where is your brother?" Kagura asked, as they've neared the beach. Gintoki already changed in his swimming shorts, running to the beach. Shinpachi was changing to his shorts, but he was doing it in the stall.

„We shall go around and ask those people."

„Like they're going to trust foreign Yato who they saw on the news. I will do the talking." Kagura said, hiding under umbrella, walking towards the beach.

„I can see that you're different from the other Yato, Kagura-san. Why is that?"

Okojo asked, walking on her side.

„It's none of your damned business."

„I'm sorry if I have offended you. I mean no harm." Smiling, he waved hands in front of himself.

„Woman should have some secrets for herself. Now, let's get under that parasol. I have to get my sunscreen."

Kagura ran towards one of the huge, round parasols, jumping on the deck chair. After she took her dress off, it was obvious that she wore two-piece, red bikini. Humming something to herself, she put sunglasses on, proceeding to cover her body with way too much sunscreen.

„Erm, I think you've put too much sunscreen. It will not help." Okojo looked at her, shocked.

„I want to play on the beach. There's no helping it."

She pressed the bottle once again, trying to squeeze last droplets out. In the end, her whole body was totally white. She looked satisfied with herself, putting her palms on the waist.

„Kagura, we should.. O-oi! Kagura, that's too much sunscreen!" Shinpachi yelled as he saw her.

„Oh shut up, you dorks!"

But still, everybody looked at her as she went to the beach, looking like a ghost.

„Kagura, shouldn't you help Okojo?" Shinpachi asked Kagura who ran up and down the beach, enjoying herself while splashing through the shallow water.

„That dork can help himself."

„But he's there, alone! What if he leaves?"

„I don't care. Let him leave."

„But he's your kin, shouldn't you feel the urge to help him?"

„That doesn't mean I should like him."

„Kag-Kagura...?"

Shinpachi's face suddenly got pale as he stared towards something behind her. Kagura was still oblivious, angry about Shinpachi's inqusitiveness.

„Like I should care. If Gin-san didn't agreed on helping, I wouldn't let him in the house."

„Kagura, turn around!"

All of the people on the beach started running away.

„Oi! Kagura! Get out of the water!" Gintoki yelled, himself being few meters out of the water.

Only then Kagura realized something was indeed wrong. But by then, it was too late. She felt something slimy and slippery wrapping around her ankle, and suddenly she lost her footing, flying high up in the air.

From everybody elses perspective, it was more obvious what happened. First a huge monstrous octopus appeared from nowhere, creeping behind Kagura. Afterwards, it grabbed her ankle and now she was high up in the air, hanging on the ankle.

„Let me go, you damn monster!" Kagura came to her senses, trying to hit the creature but octopus, obviously, isn't having any bones and wasn't hurt at all. As she struggled, another tentacle wrapped around her body, with tip of it filling the mouth.

„Oi, Shinpachi, this looks like a tentacle porn." Gintoki stood, watching the scene.

„Gin..OI! IT'S NOT TIME FOR JOKES! HELP HER!"

Gintoki's face was obviously very troubled. He ran all the way towards his scooter, but then he started panicking.

„Shinpachi, I forgot my sword! I left it at home!"

„Aaaah, we're doomed!"

As they yelled, Kagura felt her mouth filling up with slimy tentacle and was on the verge of throwing up. She tried biting it off but it was too big, and she was already having troubles breathing as creature drew her towards the large mouth.

In the middle of the bright day, black shadow suddenly passed the beach, jumping high in the air. Standing in the mid-air, closing umbrella, it slammed the creature's head so hard that it ripped open, and as it did, shadow jumped down on the beach.

It was Okojo, and ignoring the pain coming from the bright sunshine, he took the umbrella, shooting the tentacles which held Kagura. As she fell down, half-conscious, he jumped up again, taking her in his hands. Soon afterwards, he opened umbrella again.

„Are you hurt, kin?" he asked her.

„Why.. have you saved me? You.. weasel."

„I can't stand watching somebody of same blood being hurt."

Kagura looked to her right, obviously being ashamed.

„T-thank you."

„Kagura, are you alright?!" Gintoki asked, running closer to see what has occured.

„She's fine. But I haven't seen Amanto like this before. Makes me wonder if it was somebody's pet."

„We know only one person who keeps such pets." Shinpachi remembered somebody, with a disgusted look on his face.

„Slimey! It's time for supper!"

Suddenly, annoying voice came from the beach, coming towards the beach.

„Speak of the devil."

Prince Hata appeared, with Jii carrying a huge beef shank.

„Prince Ba- I mean, Prince Hata, it seems somebody killed your pet. Let's go home now. I want to watch my musical."

„Wh-wh-what?! Slimeyy! I'm going to kill you, you bastard! You're not going away with this!"

Hata lunged at Gintoki, who had a disgusted and shocked look on his face.

„Stop lunging at me, you moron! I'm going to rip your charm point!"

Gintoki grabbed his antenna, pulling it and suddenly it ripped.

„Now you've done it."

* * *

><p><span>Okojo:<span> „Osu! My name is Okojo! I'm sorry to intrude! They've left me to do this little part in the end. What should I write here? I'm terrible at monologues."

Gin-san: „Oi, this guy doesn't have a sense of humor. He's like Shinpachi!"

Four-eyes: „Gintoki, I can hear you."

Gin-san:„Technically, you can't. This is fanfiction, Shinpachi-sama."

Prince Ba-Hata:„You'll still have to pay for killing my Slimey!"

Gin and Shinpachi:„Shut up, you Amanto freak!"

Okojo: „I'm sorry, it seems like I will not have my part. Master Gintoki is kicking that guy out."

Kagura: „Keep it down, guys! I'm trying to sleep."

Sadaharu:"Wof!"

* * *

><p><em>With the next day, search for Okojo's brother continues. But, nobody yet sees the darkness which looms over Edo.<em>

**_Next chapter: Pale skin shines only on moonlit night._**


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